Personal Blogs Blog Directory The Daily Brain Shelter: July 2009

Friday, July 31, 2009

Self-Image, Pop Culture, and True Beauty

Everytime we flip through the pages of any popular magazine, one of the first things we notice is just how perfect everybody looks. No one has a hair out of place. The men are suave, the women are beautiful, and the scenery is always exquisite. While this is very inspirational and motivating to some, it often conjures up feelings of inadequacy in the minds of others.

"What's wrong with me? Why don't I look like that? Why don't I have fame and fortune? Am I lower class? Am I ugly? Maybe I'm stupid. I guess people just don't like me the way that they like those people.....I don't understand!" While these may not be the thoughts that run through your mind, they are the thoughts that run through the minds of many. These are the thoughts that turn someone beautiful into a someone who is ashamed of their own face. These are the thoughts that pour daily rain down upon even the sweetest of angels. This is what happens when pop culture becomes everything we see. This is what happens when we start to lose touch.

Self-image is very fragile. It is like a knight in shining armour who chooses to wear a vest of glass for his shielding. While a lucky knight with enough skill and tact may emerge from battle unscathed, he is the exception. The truth of the matter is that most warriors encounter a prod of the lance, a slash of the sword, or a fall from the horse at some point or another. And really, all it takes is one pinpointed blow to a glass shield to cause severe damage.....or even worse, destruction of the knight.

While it is important to strive for excellence, to groom ourselves properly, to have stable finances, a good career&ambitions, not to mention a home to provide a life of nurturing for our families in....we must not lose sight of nurturing ourselves on the inside. Without a a healthy love of oneself or proper self image, one will never be able to enjoy all of the finer things that they may covet or even envy in, or, of others. Also we most likely will not achieve these things we desire, due to the sheer fact that we will be dwelling on what we don't have and what others do well as what others are doing, rather than what it is we need to be doing(which is probably what we need to be doing most).

Although, pop culture may be an easy scapegoat for everything that is wrong with people's self images, it is not the only factor to blame. So what else is? People. That's right.....everyday people. People are competitive and cruel. They are superficial, image oriented, narcissistic, and quite often unkind. Even someone who never turns on a TV or flips through a magazine can have self image issues. We as people are responsible for this....and only we as people can start reversing this uncivilized, childish trend, by aiding, assisting and accepting others. It's time already.

Listen closely. We will never be perfect. The men and women in the magazines and on TV are never perfect either. Do some research and you'll find out just what I mean. While some really are nearly flawless in appearance, most are photoshopped to some degree, made up, professionally styled and tailored, and many have even had several plastic surgeries just to look good under the cameras(where they are positioned at flattering angles, light metered, and much more). Also if you want to get into character flaws......the list is endless. My point is not to bash the people in the magazines. Many of them are wonderful individuals. I've had several friends who have been fortunate enough to go that direction with their lives(for short periods of time). My point is that each and everyone of you is beautiful. Each and everyone of you has something to offer this world. Embrace your beauty. True beauty never resides on the outside of the soul.....and trust me when I say true beauty never fades. Take care everyone!

See you next time!!!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Grabbing the Bull By its Horns

Quick! It's time to think fast. Life is throwing a 90 mph speedball directly your way. What do you do? Do you stand there and get "beaned" in the head or do you take action? I'll take the liberty of answering this one for you.......Take action and do it now damn it! Wake up!

As all of you are well aware, life is short. While 60 seconds seems to last an eternity, 10 years just disappeared in less than the blink of an eye. If you want anything out of this life, it's time to get up out of that $700 Lazy Boy armchair, and get going already. Grab the bull by the horns.....or live out the rest of your days getting tossed around like a man in a red shirt at a rodeo.

Why aren't you taking action? Why does everyone else have to light the fire for you? You know you have some things that you would still like to achieve. I don't care who who are. That is a fact. There will always be a goal, a task, or a project that we have yet to complete. Is it fear standing in your way? Laziness? Rebellion? Mental blocks? Lack of knowledge? Problems starting or finishing things? Whatever your dilema is....figure it out, and solve it. Grab the bull by its horns!

It's time to be the person that you were meant to be. No more excuses. No more complaining or feeling sorry for yourself. You can be anything or anyone you want to be. The only way you can do this is by taking action....and taking action now. Shut down your computer, turn off your TV, get off your butt, and go change your it now! Take care everyone!

See you next time!!!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Life Is What We Make It

There will always be certain factors that are out of our control. Life will lead us down bumpy paths and winding roads. At times, we will fall.... and we will fall hard. There is no escaping the inevitable. Though we can prevent many falls before they happen, other times, we must handle life from the bottom of the hill.

So how do we deal the hand that we are dealt, when it seems that all of the chips are stacked against us.....and we are stuck with one heck of a losing hand? Like soldiers! I guess more importantly, like adults. We must realize that the journey of life is a mindset. LIFE IS WHAT WE MAKE OF IT. We can either sit in a pool of self pity, or we can take life on the chin. We must face our challenges with a the grin of an 80's action hero just before they deliver the final blow to the bad guy. We must pick ourselves up, wipe the sweat from our brows, the tears from our eyes, and the blood from our knees.....and we must push forward through the dark of night until the morning sunset shines anew.

Life is all what we make it. Life can be a series of learning experiences from which we grow and blossom, or it can be a bunch of hard blows to the nose that leave us standing in the same place for decades to come. Life is all in the attitude. It can be a bunch of "I can's" and "I will's" or it can be a bunch of "I cant's" and "I wont's". We can smile or we can frown. We can laugh or we can cry. It's give or take. Love or hate. Gain or lose. Live .......or, well, you get the point. Life really is what you make it.

You are what you choose to be people. We've all heard the excuses, and nobody's buying. The world is full of liars, excuse makers, and con-artists. Start taking accountablity for things and life will turn around in a hurry. That doesn't mean just means quickly. Life is all what we make it. So next time you are faced with a choice..... choose wisely, beacuse it will affect you. Take care everyone!

See you next time!!!

New Year's In July

Happy New Year everyone!!!! Excuse me? What?!!!...... Okay, before you think I've lost my mind, let me explain. I was browsing the web this evening, and I stumbled upon a few articles on New Year's resolutions and weight loss. After stepping away from my computer for several hours, it dawned on me that people need more than one resolution per year....or if they have not succeeded at resolving their initial resolution, they need a second chance to try it again.

Well, guess what? Here's your second chance. We are having New Year's in July here at The Daily Brain Shelter. Every reader here gets the opportunity to resolve two pressing issues in their lives this least. If you have not succeeded at your previous New Year's resolution, commit to it again. Give yourself a fresh start. You have not failed. You just never TRUELY committed. It's time to be strong people.

So what is it that you want to change? What area(s) of your life do you want to improve upon? Do you want to lose weight? Quit smoking? Stop drinking or doing drugs? Go back to school? Get a better job? Lower your cholesterol or blood pressure? What do you want to do?

Pick one thing and write it down. Ask yourself what steps you are going to take to get where you want to go, and how you are going to keep from quitting or giving up before the task is complete. If you did not succeed at your last go around, list the main reasons why, and read them back. If you have five reasons why you did not succeed, list five ways in which you will overcome the very things that stood in your way the last time. You will now be five times more likely to succeed and five times less likely to fail.

This is a beautiful opportunity to change your life. While most others will be spending the next 6 months in stagnation, waiting for the end of December to roll around, you will be enjoying the holidays and spreading your new found joy to those around you.

Take control of your lives. Empower yourselves. Realize that weakness is only a series of thoughts that you have programmed into your own mind by repeated self limiting statements. Find your strength by reprogramming your thought patterns. Speak to yourself positively and confidently, and soon, you will have anything and everything you want out of this life. Take care everyone!

See you next time!!!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Sticks and Stones

Do you ever remember hearing kids say "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" ? I sure do. I'm sure I may have said it once or twice myself. Boy, nothing could be further from the truth. More often than not, sticks and stones will rarely break our bones, but words,......they can scar us for a lifetime.

How many guys have you met over the course of your life who have been heavily scarred from accidents, injuries, fights, or moments of pure adrenaline and insanity.....only to show them off to everyone in the room with a smile on their face and a beer in their hand? I've met countless. how many people have you met who have been insulted, degraded, put down, abused, or demoralized do you see talking about their wounds? I've met very few.

The human body can recover from tremendous physical punishment. We can survive car crashes, shotgun blasts, fires, falls from the third story window......heck, even skydiving accidents. Now, if only the human mind could bounce back from trauma within a matter of weeks, months, or even a year or two. can't. When our minds are traumatized, they are left with permanent imprints of our painful events. We often re-live this pain on a continual basis in a state of constant sufferring. Injuries of the mind sometimes take decades to heal.....and sometimes, they only fade in intensity.

If you have been hurt or abused by the words or actions of someone else, please talk to someone. Talk to a close friend who is TRUSTWORTHY. Talk to a family member, someone at your church or religious institution of choice, a qualified therapist, or even the person who hurt you if(and only if) you feel they will listen and help you to heal.

If you have been abusive or hurtful, it is time to make amends and change your ways. Your words and your actions have made lasting imprints on someone's life. While you can not take back what you have said or done, you CAN move forward. You CAN turn over a new leaf. You CAN better yourself and you CAN start today.

Sticks and stones may break our bones.....but words can scar us for a lifetime. Please remember that everyone. People are not perfect. People make mistakes. Life is beautiful and life is precious....and it only comes around once. There is no need for it to be painful. Take care everyone!

See you next time!!!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Pride Is A Weapon

Pride is a weapon, ladies and gentlemen. It is a sword with a double edge. One edge will slice through any opponent standing in the way until victory is proclaimed, and the other, will violently impale the user upon the sword itself. Pride can be the downfall of man, or the humble harnessing of modest self confidence in oneself or a job well done. Once pride becomes boastful, the grip begins to slip from the sword, and the journey towards the blade often becomes fatal.

How many times do we see someone with a ton of self confidence get a great job or a great date that others are in awe of? All the time, right? Of course. It is because they have pride in themselves. How often do we see these same people lose these great jobs or dates due to arrogance? Probably, a good majority of the time. Why? They let pride go to their heads. They become self absorbed, overconfident, and somewhat narcissistic, and they lose their grip from the sword. Eventually, no one wants to put up with them, or they are just too self involved to do the job to the best of their abilities.

While it is a tragic mistake to be arrogant, it is equally tragic for many to relinquish any pride or self worth at all. Why? I'll tell you. When you have no self confidence and no sense of belief in yourself, you feel terrible most of the time. You fail to live up to your potential. Fear gets in the way of living up to your greatest ambitions or dreams, and you just don't attract the people that you are often looking to attract. Overall, life becomes somewhat unfulfilling. You do not have to live like this. Start finding your best qualities, embrace them, and re-enforce them to yourself with positive statements inside your head(or even out loud) multiple times a day, until your self image eventually changes...and believe me it will!

Now it is your choice. Hold on to the sword, or lose your grip....just beware of the fall. PRIDE IS A WEAPON. It can be used as a tool of victory, or as a tool of destruction. Just beware, either way, the outcome will be your own in the end. Take care everyone!

See you next time!!!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Dealing With Change

Life is often a series of ups and downs. Rarely do we live for several months at a time in a state of stability, equilibrium, or homeostasis. There is always something around us that is matter how hard we try to keep solid habits or routines.

So what is one to do when a monkey wrench gets tossed into their gears? Well, I'll start off with a very generic, but factual answer : I guess that all depends on who we're talking about. Here's why......... For some individuals, going with the flow of things is very easy. Their personalities are very flexible, and they can adapt to most situations without the batting of an eyelash. This is either because this is who they are genetically, or it is because they have been through so much change and uncertainty growing up, that not much ruffles their feathers anymore.

If you fall into the previous category, the rest of this article may not help you out....but keep reading, because it may help you in assisting someone who's coping mechanisms to change are completely opposite your own. Now, if you are a creature of habit, a person of extreme routine, an anxiety stricken individual, or one who just does not like being thrown a curveball, you fall into my second category. You have a hard time dealing with change. Don't worry. I've got a few good pointers coming your way.

Okay.....before I start handing out free advice, get out a pen and a piece of paper. All set? Good! We need to start out by addressing one basic question(yes, you must write down the question and a thorough answer)...... "Why am I upset or disturbed by change?" or "Why am I so afraid of change?" Once you have your answer or answers, you will have a lot of insight into your own mind that you probably did not have before. I know writing things out can be tedious, but the results are priceless. I first learned this technique while reading a self-help book called "Living the Truth" by Dr. Keith Ablow. I have practiced using this technique multiple times since, and have been amazed at what I have discovered about myself and others. With that being said, there are a few tips that I am going to share with you to make dealing with change a little easier until you get to the root of your issue(which most likely stems from an issue or a time many, many years in your past).

1. Turn fearful or negative thoughts of change into positve thoughts of what is to come(there is always a sliver lining to things.....even if it is not apparent initially)

2.Realize that it is always the times that we step outside our comfort zones that we grow

3.Don't focus on the past as you are moving forward. Let there be a natural evolution to things. Hanging on will only hinder you and hold you back.

4.Realize that your initial reaction to change related stressors may not always be positive, but it is how you learn to deal with these stressors and harness these intense reactions that will propel you forward.

5.Take things slow. Do not make all of your changes at once. Start with small gradual changes, and ease your way into the bigger ones.

Bonus Tip: Watch "Yes, Man" with Jim Carrey.

Okay guys, the ball is in your court now. It's time to move forward and it's time to be brave. It is time to deal with change. You now have the tools, so get to work. You can do it! Take care everyone!

See you next time!!!

Friday, July 24, 2009

The Joy of Giving

It seems as though people are becoming incapable of helping one another unless there is something in it for them.....especially these days. Sure, everyone wants to get ahead, but when do we draw the line? At some point we must stop and assess our mentalities. We must slow down, and we must ask ourselves "Do I like what I see when I look in the mirror, or has this rat race just made me so selfish that I can not even help those that are closest to me without some kind of personal or financial gain?"

If you are to ask me, I believe there is a supreme joy in giving......especially to those who are deserving or who are in need. Do not get me wrong, I like a nice gift just as much as the next guy, but, doing a good deed is much more fulfilling. I believe that the gift of giving is the gift that keeps on giving. It is a cycle of good will that passes from one human to the next....referred to the great majority as karma.

Last night, for example, I did not sleep at all. My friend had his car towed due to a little mishap. He called me at 4:30am to come pick him up from a gas station in a different county, because no one else would answer the phone at that hour. I knew he must have needed something. We stayed up all night, took my girlfriend to the airport in the morning, drove back to his county around noon to pick up his car from the tow lot......and then I drove 30 minutes home. What was in it for me? What did I get in return? NOTHING.

There is nothing in this world like the joy of giving. It just feels great to be a good friend and to help someone out when they need long as they are not the type to use you or do it 24/7. I think we've all had a friend like that. Sometimes after doing these good deeds, I ask myself questions. "What if I would have just left my friend stranded by the side of the highway all night like everyone else?" "What if that was me?" "What if all I cared about was myself?" I 'm sure many of you already ask yourselves these kinds of questions, but I'm sure plenty of you also need to start ask yourselves questions such as these.

So, next time your phone rings in the middle of the night. At least check to see who it is. If it is a good friend or someone that may be in need, pick up the phone. You just might be the only one that can help them. Although you will be dead tired and maybe even cursing their name the next day, you will feel so good about what you did in the long run that you will want to do it again. Most likely, they will remember it, and they will want to do the same thing for you or someone else. Embrace the goodness in you, and take true joy in the gift of giving. Take care everyone!!!

See you next time!!!

****For a great example of the gift giving cycle watch the movie "Pay it Forward"

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Turning Anger Into Motivation

There is a fire within each and every one of us. For some, it burns much hotter. The fire burns red with rage. While some people may write these individuals off as bad seeds, maniacs, or persons with evil centers, often, they are very decent people who have an uncontrollable amount of ambition and energy. I refer to this as misplaced drive.

Many of these brilliant minds fail to find positive outlets for their creativity and/or intelligence, so they wind up in places like jail, prison....or worse. The childhood trouble makers who eventually find their passions, many times become huge success stories. Think about it for a minute....what happens if that young fist fighter who can always stand back up for another punch in the jaw can channel all of that fire he has into the boardroom or into a court of law? He will be unstoppable!

Although I am not a doctor or counselor of any kind and can not diagnose, treat, or cure any issue or ailment, I, as an individual do believe that many people who are being diagnosed with having anger issues, do not have true anger issues. I believe they have issues related to the path or direction that their lives are taking. This is causing a temporary anger that can be resolved once they figure a few things out, and the road to "somewhere" becomes clear again. Too often these individuals are placed in chairs and forced to talk about anger,anger, anger,anger......until they uncork and BOOM! But does that really help in the long run or did they just vent until they exploded?

So, when venting does not work and anger remains, it is clear that an individual is unhappy with the path of their life or their circumstances. This is when it is crucial to turn anger into motivation. This anger will be the most positive force in the world if they let it. It can act like rocket fuel, driving them into the next stage of your life, catapulting them out of their present circumstances and into new surroundings. Their fears can disappear for a moment, and they can turn to stone and steel. Whatever they believe they will achieve. Just as long as they don't stay hooked on that feeling too long. Anger can be just as addictive as any other emotion or drug. Blast through the storm, then turn the nitrous off.

If your engine is fired up, get moving and get moving now. Set a list of goals or outcomes, and do not stop until you are in a more positive place. You can be the next success story. You too can turn anger into motivation. Take care everyone!

See you next time!!!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Sunshine After The Storm

Most of us go through some pretty hard times in our lives. Unfortunately, they usually do not pass over us in a matter of a day.....or even a week. Often, they take months, or, even a year or more to vanish. Each day seems like an eternity. We find ourselves feeling empty and hollow. We daydream about our pasts and worry about our futures. Life often seems gloomy and hopeless. Sometimes we wonder why we are even going through the motions anymore.

While I would like to say that there is a plan or a reason for every hard time that we go through, I am not always so sure. What I am sure of, is that, hard times make us better people. They teach us lessons that no bookbound course work ever could. They make us stronger than any weightlifting regimen could ever build us to be. We become wiser, stronger, more compassionate, thoughtful, and more appreciative than ever before.

Eventually, we emerge from the darkness. The hard times start to fade almost out of nowhere. Doors start opening for us, and there is a bright sunshine after the storm. A new energy radiates around us, and through us, inspiring and uplifting everyone we come in contact with. We become revitalized with vigor and drive like we had in our youth. Suddenly, we realize just how valuable all of those hard times and struggles were. We realize how much we've grown and how much they've shown us. For without their rain, there would be no chance to see the beauty of the sunshine that comes only after a storm. Take care everyone!!!

See you next time!!!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Speaking Tactfully

Do you ever find that you have trouble conveying your message to others? Are you too aggressive and abrasive while communicating, or too passive and unsure of your words? Most people fall into one of these two categories. Why? It is usually because they are trying too hard. People have something to prove at some basic level, and while this is essentially a good thing, it is important to listen to what it is that you are saying, how you are saying it, and to make sure you are reading the signals of the person you are in communications with. This is what I consider speaking tactfully.

Some people are born with the gift of gab. They can talk to anyone at anytime, and no matter who they are speaking with, they will always be taken seriously. As for the other 90% of us, communication is definitely somewhat of one-wheeled bicycle that we learn to ride along the way. We fall on our faces in sheer embarrassment thousands of times before we start to get the hang of it.

So how does one speak with tact? A lot of times it can be reduced to knowing when to speak, when not to speak, what mood your partner in communications is in, the tone of your environment(formal or informal), and your level of assuredness in your words. Oh....and eye contact.

Follow these steps, and you will be well on your way to speaking with tact. Although you may fumble a little at first, with a little paractice, you will find yourself having better business meetings, social situations and even relationships. Want a challenge? Start stopping strangers and holding random(but planned conversations) until it feels comfortable and most people start responding to you back fairly quickly. Good luck! Take care everyone!!!!

See you next time!!!

It's The Simple Things

Modern society is moving at such a fast pace nowadays. People are working seven days a week, and everyone is trying to keep up with thier neighbors. We have become so fixated on 7-figure bank accounts, Ferrari sports cars, and 10-bedroom homes, that we have forgotten about the simple things.

To me, the simple things mean more than any material possession(s) ever could....and yes, I too have a desire to be extremely wealthy. Despite my desire for financial and materialistic acquisitions, I would never trade any excess of riches for the simple things. The simple things are what make life worth living. There is nothing like the feeling of falling in love, or watching a perfect sunset, walking on a breezy beach alone after dark, smiling until your cheeks hurt, drifting off to sleep on a full stomach, talking for hours with a best friend or loved one, learning how to do something new and exciting, fulfilling a dream, or even rediscovering yourself.

I guess the message that I'm trying to send out is pretty simple: Take a little time out to smell the roses. Money isn't everything. It sure does help. Anyone who says that it doesn't, has their head in the sand. The reverse is also true. Anyone who is so fixated with money that tells you it is pointless to stop and smell the roses has their head deep in the sand as well. Just remember ladies and gentlemen, it's not the cars, the homes, or the diamonds that will make most of you happy at the end of the day.....It's the simple things! Take care everyone!

See you next time!!!

Friday, July 17, 2009


When was the last time that you laughed so hard you cried? Was it with friends, with strangers, or while watching a comedy movie? When was it? Start thinking about it for a moment...especially if it has been awhile. There is no feeling in this world like laughter. Laughter is the only antidepressant that doctors are forgetting to prescribe.....But, why? Laughter is one of the most powerful drugs out there. If you think back on your life, and start recalling those days that you laughed all day long, you will realize that no pill or potion can replace such a genuine elevation of spirits.

I have had some really hard times in my life. I have had loved ones pass. I've been married and then divorced. I've survived a long term illness. I've witnessed and experienced my fair share of other heartaches and tragedies as well. I'm sure most of you have shared at least one(if not more) of these experiences as well. While some suggest strong pharmaceuticals, I have found laughter to be the better option. Why mask your pain and problems with narcotics, when you can replace them with smiles and good times?

For all of you out there who don't seem to laugh very often, this is something that you learn over time. Sounds kind of crazy, right? Yeah, I know. I was once very serious and a little uptight. Once I got sick, the smaller issues in life got placed into perspective. Soon, I was able to break down my walls and relax enough to laugh at jokes, to understand others humor that was unlike my own, to joke when I wasn't already in a joking mood. Why? Because there is no promise of tomorrow. Tragedy may strike at any moment. We must live our lives to the fullest today. If we are not smiling, laughing, and living happily, we are missing out on the beauty that life has to offer.

One last thing.....before you get off of your computer, find one joke online that either makes you laugh or that will make someone else laugh.....and make sure to tell it to them. Just like life is a gift, so is laughter. Now go find and friend and laugh until it hurts. What a wonderful gift you will have given! Take care everyone!

See you next time!!!

Thursday, July 16, 2009


Recently, I joined a blogging community online( to improve my writing, and to meet some new people. Much to my surprise, many of these wonderful people have started following my blog, and even contacting me. Some of the emails that I have been getting have truely been amazing. It feels so nice to know that I am helping others that are going through hard times or inspiring others. It also feels really nice to be appreciated for what I am doing.

Though it is great to be aprreciated, I can tell you how great it is to have so many new people in my life to express my appreciation to as well. Without the readers, I would be merely sending letters into outer space. I would be helping no one....and no one would be helping me. So, to anyone who has been reading this, or who is just reading this for the first time.....I really appreciate you being here. I would like to give an extra special thank you to all of the people who have signed up as followers on my site. Everytime, I see that someone else has joined, it makes my day!

Appreciation is a beautiful thing people. Please do not go to bed tonight without telling at least one person how much you appreciate them, and why. It will make their day, just like you all have made mine! Take care everyone!

See you next time!!!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I Believe

In a world full of cynics, pessimists and doubters, two of the most valuable words we can ever hold on to are "I Believe". These two words will restore our faith in times of hardship. They will give us extraordinary confidence in ourselves or others when times are already wonderful. They will encourage and inspire those around us. They will be the words that bring us to true potential.

Some say that the energy we carry and exude is magnetic. I believe that they are right. It seems that any person with a certain type of energy(i.e. postive energy) will draw others of a similar energy toward them no matter where they go. The same is also true for those who are negative. When one starts saying "I believe", it shows faith, excitement, and high spirits in oneself. When others starting "feeling" or experiencing this energy, they often share those same feelings of faith, confidence, and excitement in that person. They become believers as well. Now, this is in no way about brainwashing people. For the most part people are not the fools some make them out to be. They will only become believers in a person or a cause that they feel is truely genuine or worthy.

I guess when it all boils down, the most important believer is always going to be you. It's time that you believe in yourself and everything that you are doing and whatever it is that you wish to do. There is no impossible task in this world. There is nothing you cannot do. It all starts with these two words: "I Believe". Take care everyone!

See you next time!!!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Overcome and Conquer

Many people in this world have been faced with depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. All to often these conditions seem to replace people's ambition and confidence with self defeating thoughts and low morale. Boys and girls who were going to fly to the moon and discover new stars, now can not make a trip to Wal-Mart during rush hour.

So what ever happened anyway? I'll break down what I believe is the general idea for you....just make sure to keep in mind that each individual's circumstances differ from one to the next. My belief, is that somewhere along the way, we feel as if we are a lesser than. Sometimes we are mocked, put down, told that we can't or just faced with embarassment or pain. As individuals our minds usually do one of two things(depending on where we are in our lives and how we feel about ourselves): We either #1.turn inward and become depressed, anxious, and more introverted and shy or, # 2. we draw inward for the strength that EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US possesses. Then, we OVERCOME and we CONQUER!

When I was younger, I turned inward with depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. As I grew older, I became more comfortable in my own skin. I thought about things differently....for instance, I realized that the people that were putting me down or putting others down, were people that I would never want to be associated with anyway(even if they were the popular ones). I then started noticing just how many flaws they had as well. Once I noticed that, I started putting two and two together. They were picking on others because either they were once picked on(so this was how they avoided being picked on), or, purely because they just didn't like themselves(no matter how cocky they were).

It took several years after these initial realizations for things to sink in, but the more and more they did, the stronger I became. Now I don't get walked on. I Overcome and I Conquer! It's mind over matter ladies and gentlemen....the real battle is in our heads. Take care!

See you next time!!!!


This world can be a cruel and unforgiving place sometimes. There is no doubt about it. We as people often get trampled on, used, abandoned, dumped, fired, neglected, or even abused by those that we once loved or considered our friends. This leaves most of us with deep, internal scars. Once our scars have settled long enough, we forget how to trust.

Do you remember what it was like to be a kid? Life was filled with so much innocence. We always believed our friends, our teachers, or anyone else that spoke to us with enthusiasm. I mean, c'mon....they were friendly smiling faces, so why would they lie? Of course they wouldn't.

As time passed and years slipped away, we grew up, lost precious pieces of our innocence and started learning the cold, hard ways of the world. Soon, friends that we once thought we'd have forever ditched us for different crowds. People we loved so much started talking poorly about us behind our backs. Old family secrets tarnished sacred memories of deceased relatives. Spouses cheated on us. Co-workers stabbed us in the back to get small promotions that seemed like mere lateral moves. We forgot how to do one very important thing.....Trust.

While I still don't recommend trusting everyone in this world (due to the nature of modern man and modern society), I would not recommend abandoning trust all together. You will wind up damaged goods. You will find that you will end up pushing away close friends, losing lovers that are absolutely terrific, and missing out on a ton of happiness. I have been down this road before. I speak from experience(I am not some sort of preaching armchair quarterback).

Anyway, so how do you trust when the ability to trust has been lost? I'll tell you, but only if you want the honest answer. Oftentimes it involves falling flat on your face. It means making mistakes. It means exposing yourself, being vulnerable to others, and putting yourself out there in situations that may have once hurt you and that may hurt you again. The only difference between this time and last time is, you will be going into these situations with the mindset of a mature adult. It is time to recall the childhood, adolescent, and early adult experiences that caused your loss of trust in the first place. Once you recall them, write out the entire situation or situations, and how they made you feel. Why did they hurt you? Why do you push people away? Why do you avoid social situations? Why don't you trust certain groups of people? Why don't you trust yourself?

I truely believe that if you spend a little time answering these questions, you will end up a much happier person.....even if you become a little more emotional or angry at first(most likely due to your recollections of the past). After the smoke has cleared and the storm has passed, you should be able to know who is pulling your leg and who is being genuine, rather than distrusting all who walk your way. Who knows? You may even learn to trust. It's up to you now. Take care everyone!

See you next time!!!

Saturday, July 11, 2009


Arrogance and ignorance has become somewhat of a plague that has been injected into the veins of modern man. The egocentric, the narcissistic and the insincere are all devoid of one thing: humility. What is humility? It is the ability to be humble or the state of being humble.

Why is that important? It is important for a number of reasons. The biggest reason would have to be that, humble people treat others the way they would like to be treated. They generally live by the Golden Rule(if you have never heard of the Golden Rule, I seriously suggest that you look it up a.s.a.p.). A humble individual will not turn his or her nose up at a stranger for starting a random conversation or asking their name. A humble individual can be filthy rich and still have a best friend that works for minimum wage. A humble individual can have the face and body of a cover model, yet still hang out with a group of overweight individuals with average looks without feeling out of place.

Humility is a trait that will draw more friendship and more respect than even money or power. That statement may seem like a falacy at first glance, but as you keep looking deeper into the bigger picture, you will realize that humilty has longer lasting impacts on those you encounter(as opposed to money or power).... few, if any of which are negative.
So if you really want to make a lasting impact on this world, start today. Start by being humble. I thank you kindly for reading!

See you next time!!!

Friday, July 10, 2009

We All Have Bad Days

Guess what? We all have bad days sometimes. Today was a bad day for me. My business is off to a slow start, the economic recession is taking a toll on my finances, and the light at the end of the tunnel just wasn't shining too bright today.

When I was in my early twenties, this would have got me down big time. Now that I am older and have gone through much bigger things such as dealing with 4 years of vertigo(one of them in a bed), I am able to see things a little more clearly. Even when life gets rough, I can take it on the chin.

So how do I do it? I deal with my feelings as I am feeling them(sadness, frustration, anger, etc). I talk about them with a friend or family member if they are available. Then, I try to make peace with my situation and stop my counterproductive or negative thoughts, so I don't get stuck in a downward spiral of pessimism and hopelessness. Later that day or evening, I make sure to exercise vigorously, and then to laugh with a friend or to watch a comedy movie. If I am still plagued by my thoughts, I will write them out, or confront the source of my emotions if at all possible.

Before I take off, let me get one thing clear: Nobody has good days everyday. Everyone has their share of bad days. Some just disguise it better than others. Their lives are not as picture perfect as they would like you to believe, so don't be fooled.... not even for a minute. Next time you are having a bad day, don't use it as an excuse to throw a right cross at a co-worker, but also, don't lie to yourself about how you feel. Talk about it. Vent. Exercise. Laugh. Use whatever techniques you want. Please just realize that it is just a bad day, and that we all have them. Take care everyone!

See you next time!!!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I'm Gonna Be Somebody

Pay attention everyone.....this is an important posting that transcends age, gender, race, religion, preference, or even the almighty Starbucks.

I was on my way home late this evening, and just before pulling up to my house a certain song came on the radio. Everytime this song comes on, a bell goes off in my head. It is like this one songwriter wrote this one song just for me and he is sending out its message to make sure that I hear it. The song is called "I'm Gonna Be Somebody" by Travis Tritt. It's about a young boy who dreams of singing and playing on the big stage someday. Throughout the song, people tell him to get a "real" job, to give up on his "dream", and to quit playing at these dive bars that he plays at. He refuses listen. Somewhere inside his heart he knows better. He believes in himself and he knows that this is what he was born to do. Finally, by the end of the song he is playing the big stage in his hometown, only to find a boy in the front row that looks just like he did, singing those same words ...."I'm Gonna Be Somebody".

Please people, do not let our short lives end in disappointment. I know that I will not let mine end that way. Make the most of yours as well. Start by taking action now! Take proactive steps to open the restaurant that you and your wife had always talked about in your early 30's, publish an autobiography of your life and experiences(hey, life wasn't always normal for you was it?), record your songs and send them out, go back to school so you can stop doing intense day labor......don't let your lives end in disappointment.

I know that many of you may not like country music, and even if you do, you may not like that song.....but, you are destined to be someone in this world.... someone special. Listen to the song or read the lyrics(preferably both). If nothing else, start telling yourself one thing: "I'm Gonna Be Somebody". Put a little action into the picture, add a pinch of time, and everything will fall into place. Take care everyone!

See you next time!!!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009


Some people have reasonable standards for themselves.....others expect themselves to be perfect. Oftentimes, those with perfectionistic tendencies have dealt with parents or peers who have told them that they are not good enough or not doing enough somewhere along the way(directly or indirectly). "I'll do better next time" ,"I can't let so and so down", or "I have to live up to this person's standards" are examples of comments that many of you perfectionists out there probably started making to yourself during childhood or adolescent years. Eventually, these comments drove you to master a hobby or two, or to even become successful in your chosen career.

What else did these comments do? They changed the way you looked at yourself and the way you looked at others. You would never be good enough again and neither would anyone else. You would forever see flaws. "This could be better", "They could be better", etc, etc, etc. Perfectionism damaged your self worth, and the worth of others around you. Now, when you look in the mirror, you can no longer stop to smell the roses. Why? Because even your greatest achievements aren't that good to you or at least "they could be better". It's almost as if you can still hear the voices of your parents or your peers in your head....only now the voice you hear is your own.

Well, here's a newsflash for you: You are good enough. Your crowning achievements are good enough.....and you should be damn proud! While perfectionism has been a great motivating force that has catapulted you forward in your life, it is important to accept the fact that fear of something or someone made you the perfectionist that you are. Once you accept that, the cycle may then start being broken down and eventually reversed. This is usually a slow process, but the rewards are well worth the time and effort invested.
Take care everyone!

I'll see you next time!!!

***Bonus tip for the perfectionist: try to read this posting again without correcting all of my grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes as you go*******

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Accepting Differences

Why is it that so many people out there seem to have so much trouble accepting others who are radically different than they are? Are they threatened by things that they can not understand? Do they have unresolved childhood insecurities? Were they raised or maybe even conditioned to turn their noses up at those who don't act, look, or dress like they do? Maybe its none of the above.....maybe its all of the above.

Listen. We could sit here all day and take shots in the dark as to why people act the way they do. We can psychoanalyze them, profile them, and maybe even interrogate them to obtain our answers. At the end of the day, all that we're going to be left with is a wide variety of answers with a few similarities that link one set of individuals to the next. That being said, I guess we must ask ourselves "Has this really made a difference in how one human being will treat the next when he or she leaves the clinic doors, or do we just have a better grasp on why people act so bizarre sometimes?" If you want my my two cents on the matter, I'd say that answering these questions will have some impact on how people will treat each other, but the impact will be minimal at best.

So what's my reasoning? Good question. It's simple.... people need a motive to do something, or, not to do something. A friend of mine told me that people do things for one of two reasons seek pleasure or 2. to avoid pain. In most cases I think that theory is essentially correct. Let's test this theory on a very basic level(yes, you geniuses out there will find ways to disprove is not 100% flawless). Question #1. Why do people go on vacations? Answer: to seek pleasure Question #2. Why do people prolong calling up an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend? Answer: to avoid pain * Bonus Question:Why do people get drunk every weekend? Answer: (both) some seek pleasure, some avoid pain, and some do both at the same time.

So what am I getting at? People need a motivating factor if they are not hard-wired to accept others for their differences. A person needs to know that this "different" individual will bring them happiness or pleasure, or shelter them from pain. Once someone is convinced that another individual can or will do one of these two things for them, they will usually start letting their walls down and befriending someone who was once referred to as an outsider. Having at least one thing in common always helps, but is not always necessary. Some of my best friends have nothing in common with me, but we will always be there to help each other during good times(creating or seeking pleasure/happiness), and will always be there for each other when life gets rough(shelter from pain).

Here's a final thought.....The day you start accepting others for their differences, is the day that you will start becoming more accepted yourself. You are just as strange as they are...It doesn't matter what you look like, dress like, or how you speak. It doesn't even matter where you're from...... Get over it. Take care everyone!

See you next time!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Independence Day

Break out your party hats ladies and gentlemen, today is the July 4th of July! While most of us are usually busy gathering around barbeques, beer kegs, and fireworks, it is important that we take a brief moment out of our day to remember how we got our freedom and also to remember the brave soldiers who have given their lives so we may celebrate this day of independence.

Don't worry, I'm not going to bore you with a history lesson, or go into detail about the history of America's independence. If you want to know the story, grab a book or google it. While I do think that history is very important, I am an even bigger believer in lessons relating to life in the present day. So what is your assignment this 4th of July? This is pay attention! I want you to take a look at yourself, your life, and your country, and write down your Top 10 biggest freedoms that you are thankful for. At first you are not going to know what to write. You might get stuck halfway. Don't give up. Keep going until you have ten. When you are finished, you will realize how lucky you are compared to so many. These freedoms could be freedoms that are unique only to you as an individual, to you as a man or as a woman, as an American, as a kid or as an really doesn't matter(just make sure to write down ten).

Today is about celebrating independence. So, tonight when you crack a beer, light a smoke bomb, or shoot a shower of multi-colored sparks into the sky, know why you're doing it, and you'll have a much better time. I guarantee it. Have a Happy 4th of July everyone! Be safe and have fun!

See you next time!!!!!

Friday, July 3, 2009

Paving the Way

So often we find outside sources attempting to chart our futures for us. They always seem to have this crystal clear vision of what we should be doing or how we should be living. I have found a number of people trying to help direct me. I have one major problem with this....all of these people feel that the path that they have followed is the path that is best for us to follow as well. I beg to differ.

How many of you out there remember the movie Dead Poet's Society with Robbin Williams? If my memory serves me correctly, the young man in the movie desperately wanted to be a poet, but his father had an unrelenting vision of his son becoming a doctor. The ending(which I will not reveal) ended up being quite tragic. How many times have you heard interviews with actors, singers, writers, or musicians that are now famous recalling their parents, friends or girlfriends telling them that its time to "grow up already" or "get a real job" ....or something of that nature?
Well....what if they had listened?

I am a big believer that every man and woman must march to the beat of his or her own drummer. It is so important to listen to your heart and to be true to yourself, regardless of what others think or say. Sometimes, this will be your ticket to a prestigious university and on to a four year degree....other times, this will catapult you deep into the rainforest with no more than a poncho and a backpack.

So, whether you end up a computer specialist or a construction worker, a businessman or no compromise your sense of self. At the end of the day, the only thing that really matters is that YOU are satisfied with your life. I hope all of you find whatever it is that you are looking for. May all of your dreams come true. Take care everyone!

See you next time!