The mind is a weapon. Many of our thoughts manifest themselves as physical symptoms inside our bodies. While not all symptoms are related to the effects of human emotion, many are indeed interconnected. Oftentimes we search for answers inside a pill bottle or magical injection only to find little to no resolution or comfort. When this occurs, first seek medical/professional advice, then look inside yourself. My guess is that days, months, or even years of unsolved internal conflict has started to take its toll.
Throughout the course of my life I have experienced severe anxiety, depression, social discomfort, and even a legitimate long term physical illness. I have been prescribed countless pills, been injected numerous times, and have been examined endlessly. While many of these treatments have helped me cope with life on a very symptomatic level, I have neglected to turn inward to face my deepest self. I have neglected to dig deep enough to get to the root(s) of all of my discomfort. I have neglected to face the truth.
Facing the truth is something that I'm just now starting to do. Most of the symptoms of my long term illness are minimal, and those that remain are most likely caused by the same psychological burden that made me physically sick in the first place. Unsolved emotional trauma. I spent a lifetime ignoring, masking or burying everything that happened to me. I shrugged off every tear and heartache, every ounce of physical and emotional pain.....nothing could hurt me. I could only become stronger.......or so I thought. Then I broke. It took years(decades actually). Finally, I wound up in a bed. Five years later, I'm just starting to regain control of my life. I have a clean bill of health, and yet many of the same symptoms remain. Gee, I wonder why?
Neglect. Neglecting anything will come back to bite us. Neglecting our health, our loved ones, and even our emotions. Eventually, we must read the chapters we have written, for they have become the novels of our lives. My repressed emotions had created such a toxic internal whirlwind that my internal neurological environment completely destabilized. Upon the onset of this destabilization, I started experiencing vertigo attacks and migraines several times a day until the symptoms became a 24hr constant in my life. I lost control of speech, motor function, digestive control, respiratory function, and my emotional environment took a dive bomb due south.
I am not sharing this story with you as a fear tactic. I am just hoping to give one lucky person a wake up call before they experience a nightmare of equal proportions. While most of you will never face any physical symptoms this extreme due to emotional trauma, you are still not immune to its effects. Just look up Stress Related Illness or Psychoneuroimmunology(just for a few select examples. Maybe you're tired of unexplained colds, infections, heartburn, etc. If your doctor has ruled everything else out, examine your life......past and present.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this post. I hope that it helps at least one person who stumbles across it over the course of time. May your life be filled with joy, health, and happiness. Take care everyone!
See you next time!!!
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So true and well stated - from difficult personal experience!! You might enjoy reading Dr. John Sarno's theory, technique and success stories about the link between repressed emotions and physical illness in "The Divided Mind". I have used his simple technique and seen physical symptoms disappear overnight.
ReplyDeleteFacing the truth is the hard part. I believe so many people suffer endless physical problems, due to denial and rejection of mental traumas and issues. Brave post. Thank you. Take care oOo x
ReplyDeleteHey Bonnie,
ReplyDeleteI will check into that book tomorrow. I'm hoping to experience some similar results(even if it takes a little longer). Thank you for your contribution. I'm sure many others will benefit from your post as well!
Hi Bubbles,
ReplyDeleteYou are definitely right. We often fail to see what we do to ourselves. Thank you for taking the time to read my post. Take care!
When I had a 10 year love relationship go south after my mate fell in love with a younger girl and seemed to forget that he'd ever felt the way that he had about me...I more or less amputated my entire emotional system to keep it from pulling the whole rest of me down with it. After I did this, I spent three years in "nullworld" and although I've barely begun to follow what seems like it may be an egress, for the past half year or so, the time in a "null" state may have had irreparable effects on me.
ReplyDeleteI try to 'stay positive' but I am just not the same person I had been before - I no longer believe in love, even though I very much attempt to 'fake it' enough that I might function and survive...it's not even close to what I know life can be like. I get so angry whenever anyone says 'oh don't worry, you'll find someone else some day..." I do not WANT to 'find someone else'...even though I know I SHOULD want that.
I can't seem to become attracted to anyone beyond friendship. I don't even care whether they find me attractive or not, and I doubt that anyone does, owing to my so called 'low self esteem'. I know the truth, and that's it's nothing to do with low self esteem. I don't have ANY self-esteem. I wish I had damn low self esteem...it would be an improvement.
The path I am taking is just appreciating my friends and my cat as much as I can, and in the present moment, so that I distract my mind from the possibility of losing these precious things. When I lost my mate, no drug could even have effect on me, much less bring me out of my null-state. That is very strange for such a devoted pharmacomaniac as me!
Let me be honest. If you do not want to find someone else, it might not be time to find someone else(just yet). It takes a long time to get over someone who you truly love and care for. It's going to take time and a lot of sorting things out. There's going to be a lot of blame being thrown around(sometimes at your ex, and sometimes you'll blame yourself). People's motives are hard to understand, and sometimes don't have as deep of a meaning as the ones we are searching for. Sometimes its just people making rash decisions that ultimately aren't best for anyone. Sometimes, they send others on painful journeys of self exploration that ultimately carry them to strength, self fulfillment, and great happiness(despite the years of struggle that it takes to make peace with themselves and/or someone else). I have been hurt deeply in the past, and it took quite a few years to start moving forward again. Just give it time, and you're life will be better than ever. For now, don't worry about loving anyone else(at least for a little while)....just focus on loving yourself. Thanks for writing. Hope to hear from you again!
ReplyDelete-Adam