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Sunday, November 8, 2009

If You Don't Love Yourself......

"If you don't love yourself, you will never be able to love someone else". Has anyone ever heard this saying before(or something similar)? While in some ways it can be disproven, in others, it is right on the money.

Sure there have been times(like when I was lying in bed sick for over a year, divorced), in which I did not exactly love myself, but, that doesn't necessarily mean that I did not care for anyone else around me. I still loved my family, and even the woman I used to be married to. The tragedy of it all, was the depth of love I was able to express, show, feel and give in return to all of those people who still loved me.

If you do not love yourself, you may still be capable of loving others, but not like you could be. When you have feelings of self loathing and depression, you are often unable to register the trademark feelings of warmth and tenderness that come with love. Instead, you feel the hollowness and neediness that a lonely, missing soul feels when they are continuously worried that their only true connection may be slipping away. Big difference.

To love oneself is not to be cocky, arrogant or self absorbed. It is merely to cherish one's life and greater qualities despite the little imperfections that all humans have, similar to the way that this person would love and accept another. Don't go through life hating yourself. I guarantee you have more good qualities than you even realize. Just ask a few of your friends. They'll tell you. Oh, and even if you are not inclined to find love for yourself for the sake of your own well being, please do find love for yourself so that you may love others like they deserve to be loved. Take care everyone!

See you next time!!!


  1. I completely agree with you. To love someone else you must love and accept your self as who you are. I know a boy who would really rather not be here, but lives so that he can make other people happy. I ask him to love himself, for my sake and he says he will try, but I know that he can only ever love others. I think that really relates to what you are saying here. Thank you for your excellent posts. I have really enjoyed reading.

  2. To be honest, your comment hits me on a very personal level. I spent the majority of my teenage years (as well as several years in my twenties) wishing I was no longer here. I was in fact hanging on for everyone else. For some, loving oneself seems to come effortlessly. For others, it is something that takes quite some time. While this situations sounds grim(and every now and then it can be), there is usually a silver lining. Even though this boy may not be showing signs of love for himself, he is obviously filled with deep sensitivities that are often hard for strong young men to admit. Most young men like this have deep love and compassion for others, and will eventually find true love for themselves. It may just take a little longer to find true peace inside. I wish you, this boy, and all of my other readers the best of luck on this journey. May you all find love and happiness.

  3. PS once again....I am not a qualified health care professional of any kind. My words are not intended to treat, prevent, cure, or diagnose anyone or anything. I am only another human being here to to my part. Thanks!

  4. Thank you for your kind words. I believe we live for other people. Hes actually my boyfriend. I've learned to just accept that he won't love himself and get on with things. Hes a very loving person though. I'm glad you could relate to what I said. :) I think to a certain extent everyone goes through stages like that. Its what makes us such strong people.

  5. I so agree if you don't love your self first, really how do expect any one else too! I am too going though a lot right now. But I am becoming more positive and surrounding my self with those people... like you Adam :)


  6. Thank you Ava. I really appreciate your comment! It's nice to hear from you again! I'm glad things are seem to be going well for you and life is on the upswing. Emails and comments from good people like you have really helped me to become much more positive as well. You have helped me more than you know. You were the first person to ever send me an email or post a comment. Your letter was one of my biggest inspirations for continuing this website, which has been a major source of happiness for me. Thank you very much! And thank you to all of my other readers as well! I wouldn't be where I am without you.

  7. We all go through hard times and stages of turmoil, so I can definitely relate to what you had to say. At the end of every storm is a rainbow.....and at the end of most rainbows lies a pot of gold. May you and he find everything you have been awaiting at the end of your storm. Take care!