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Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Facing Up To Attackers.....

Recently, I had a parting of ways with someone who was very dear to me. Unfortunately, I was judged wrongly by a friend of this individual which lead to a very distasteful text message being sent to me. It happened to be full of all kinds of name calling and swear words. So how did I respond? At first...completely wrong. I took the bait and bit the worm at the end of the hook. I texted back a quick two word phrase best described by holding up one's middle finger. Not the brightest move on my part. So what happened? This person felt as if they got a rise out of me(which really was not the case, as I was kind of laughing and just blowing them off for being rude). Anyway, to make a long story short, my immature, quick-witted response led to a short string of other attempts to antagonize me and get under my skin. However....this time they failed. I ignored the next few text messages, and finally things cooled down.

So why am I telling you this? Why am I airing dirty laundry? Well, I felt that I had made a mistake in my initial response. I learned from it, and figured that I would pass it along to all of you. After all....who doesn't encounter verbal attackers at some point in their lives? We all do. That being said, the best thing we can do is not add fuel to the fire....unless we are seeking an argument ourselves(which I believe is highly toxic). This is not to say that you should not stand up for your self against a bully, or have a back bone. It just means... pick your battles. If someone is being petty or immature, let them run their mouth. Who cares? It's wasted time and wasted energy. They will burn themselves out. If you feed into their cycle of chaos, they will know they can tap into you whenever they want to create tension. If you ignore them, all of their efforts will be wasted, and they will find it pointless. If this is someone that you are living with who seems to follow you around the house just to continue argue, then leave. Get some space. If this continues, you need to strongly assess your relationship with that person.

Facing up to attackers is never easy. At times it is quite intimidating. is a skill, like any other, that we must develop over time to survive in this world. We must not allow ourselves to fall victim of a verbal predator. Quality of life is everything....let no man take it away. Do what you have to depending on the situation. Press the ignore button on your cell phone, walk away, shrug it off and laugh...whatever. As my friend's older brother says....Life is 10% "what happens to you", and 90%" how you deal with it". It's your move from here. What will you do?....... Take care everyone!

See you next time!!!


  1. I have had something similar happen to me. In the end I deleted him off my FB page for what he wrote me. I am still to this day a little hurt. I blogged about it too.. I don't know if you read it or not. But for me I though it was the right decision to make even though this person was a good friend.

    Take care Adam!!

  2. Honestly, I have not read that post as of yet....but I will. lol Anyway, I'm sorry to hear of your encounter with your friend. I guess I should have mentioned in my post, that oftentimes, our most vicious attackers are the ones we are closest to or love the most....such as family or friends. In my case, it was a friend.....very similar to your own situation(and those of many others).