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Saturday, August 15, 2009

Beneath The Skin

Lately, I have been personal training a new friend of mine. He is 24, single, and plagued by insecurity. I can sympathize. When I was 24, I was plagued by insecurity as well. I didn't know if I'd ever be comfortable in my own skin. So what did I do? I did some pretty extreme stuff. I did everything in my power to compensate for how I really felt about myself and about my life. I thought that doing so would elicit the type of results that would give me the self confidence I was looking for, and change my life forever.

So......I worked out 7 days a week(sometimes 2 or 3 times a day), ingested every single dietary supplement that was sold at GNC, The Vitamin Shoppe, or any other local retailer, and wound up in the shape of my life, completely insecure, and with a long term vertigo disorder(which has finally subsided after more than 4 years of daily dizziness and migraines). I gained zero confidence. Why? Not because I didn't look better. I did. It was because I neglected my mind.

So many people(like my friend), think that if they can just look a certain way, or acquire a certain amout of money, all of their problems will disappear. least partially. Sure, some worries will fade. That's true. Others will grow larger and much more overwhelming because they have been left unresolved. Now what?

Now we are left to ourselves and our own devices. This can make us a little crazy. This is when even the largest of rooms become way too small for any of us to stand in. We are finally forced to face ourselves. At first, we must deal with depression, anger and confusion.....of epic proportions. Eventually, we learn to laugh, to love and to relax in ways that were once foreign and unimaginable to us. Peace is finally with us, and we gain comfort in our skin.

Please be advised, there is no breast implant, steroid injection, lottery ticket, or job offer that can make you comfortable in your own skin. That must come before any superficial acquistion is gained. You will never reap the full benefits of a gift that is given unless your attitude is such that you can appreciate a life with no gifts at all. While certain amenities surrounding you may bring you comfort, you will always find happiness in your surroundings if you are comfortable beneath the skin. Take care everyone!

See you next time!!!


  1. I actually have a differnt view on this Adam....

    I believe you should be thankful for your life def. That is first and foremost !

    But...I believe , if you arent happy in your living situation,if your not happy in your job, you cant be comfotable in your own skin.

    I believe A nice house, a Great job do things like build self esteen,self confidence, because you have a sense of achievement. These are things you have earned and it makes you feel great. I believe money CAN make people happier, because they can be comfortable in their own house, they can LOVE their job.... Ultimately All that really matters is God, your family and your friends......but i can see how it would be hard to get comfortable without other things I also think Looking YOUR very best as in taking care of yourself, also makes you feel great!


  2. Here's my take....You CAN be comfortable in your own skin despite an undesirable living situation or job environment. You create your attitude and outlook in this world. You choose what affects you...and how. As for a nice house, and money......sure, they can give added boosts of self confidence, but many wealthy individuals share the same feelings as poor or middle class individuals. Insecurity does not descrimintate by social class or economic status. I CAN agree that the factors that cause bouts of insecurity may change or manifest themselves diffently in certain classes, genders, etc. of people. No two people live life in a mirror's image. Therefore, their problems(and insecurities) will vary from person to person. I do agree with you in that a strong sense of faith, and a great relationship with family and friends is of utmost importance. Looking good always helps. Feeling good is essential. Without our health we have nothing. Great comment Colin! Thanks!

  3. Well i think we will have to agree to disagree...because i dont think you can be comfortable in your skin when you have a bad living situation and hate your job...its not about being insecure its about being comfortable....and i believe when u have a nice house and a great job you can be much more comfortable....I also think wealthy individuals do not share the same feelings for the most part...i mean they may share faith and Love for one another, but i believe wealthy people feel much better...I agree with you a little bit about,you choose what effects you....but some things you CANT help and that causes you to be unfortable...But yes....i agree - Always have a Positive Outlook :) , without a positive outlook you will never improve your situation.

  4. I do believe we will stand at a disagreement on this matter. If you examine this posting closely and analyze the matter at hand, you will notice that there is indeed a difference between being comfortable(as in free of mere finacial worry), and being comfortable beneath the skin(secure with oneself). I strongly disagree that wealthy individuals do not share these same feelings. My friend that I am training is a self made millionaire at 24. He's got it made financially. He shares the same feelings as everyone else. I speak to him almost daily. His life stresses are through the roof. He has to juggle a business with multiple employees, do continuous paperwork, broker deals, argue and make up with clients, and still have a life outside of the office. He comes from a broken home, and poor background, yet has a great outlook on life and a humble attitude. We can not make assumptions about the rich, the poor, the black, the white, or anyone else, without knowing them as individuals.

  5. Ok when i made this post --->"I also think wealthy individuals do not share the same feelings for the most part"

    I was reffering more to financially....i guess i should have mentioned that, but i was half asleep.

    I didnt really mean emotionally...But i stand by my statements for "Financial Stability" and It helps a lot to be financially stable with some emotions

    Do u get what im sayin.. I mean money helps with some problems , i.e. - home,good job, and bills and other problems..but if it is a underlining issue, thats a totally differnt story.

    I don't know your friend...but i do know what it feels like to be on "Work Overload" and stressed out.

    I find it best to outsource work and leverage employees..No ammount of money in the world is worth whats sounds like to be a "Bundle of Stress." If he is a millionaire he should be able to hire more people and leverage employees and outsourcing.

    Also...It could be an underling problem that he hasnt resolved yet, which would magnify the stress at work.

  6. seems we did not see eye to eye on a few things earlier in our discussion today.....however, I must say that I do agree with what you have said this time. No need for debate or clarification here. Thank you for challenging me and allowing me to think about my words and my writing. Your comments and your friendship have been most appreciated. Take care Colin!